Friday, December 17, 2010

My Goal This Christmas Season

Christmas is fast approaching and so I wanted to share with you my goal for this Christmas season.

I'd like to not shed a tear whenever I hear Silent Night.

This is easier said than done. See, seems like every year, sitting in a church pew hearing this song, it brings a tear to my eye. But now, rewind a few years back when I was with Dad for his last weeks with us.

If you knew my dad, you would know that he absolutely LOVED Christmas. Loved it. And he sang Christmas carols all year long. In public places even. Like at his office. And..well...frankly anywhere! And he didn't just sing softly under his breath. No sir...he sang with GUSTO...loud and clear for everyone to hear! And he smiled before, during and after his performance.

In his last days, there is one moment I will never forget. I was sitting with him on the couch. He had lost most of his vision...the cancer had spread to his brain. He didn't seem like Dad a lot of the time. But for one moment...there he was. Out of nowhere....in April...he began to belt out Silent Night. With a look of absolute glee and joy on his face, he smiled and sang as loud as he could. and he forgot some words, which was a sign, I knew, that his time was ending with us. But he sang and when he was done he smiled so big...waiting to see what impact his performance had on his attentive audience.

And we all smiled....and applauded his performance...and we laughed. and cried.

After his funeral, a friend of mine said she and another friend felt like standing up, during the sadness of it all, and belting out Jingle Bells. I wish they would have. He would have loved that. But we were all so sad and devastated, never did it cross our minds to sing Christmas carols..to celebrate him.

Of course now I sing and remember and smile. Most of the time. Except for Silent Night....gets me every time.

I miss my dad so much. But even more during the Christmas season. And so, my goal is to not shed a tear when I hear Silent Night. So far I haven't met my goal. But let's try again...shall we?



*Peace!

17 comments:

Robin said...

What a beautiful memory. Thank you so much for sharing.

Happy Cottage Quilter said...

Thank you for this beautiful post. What a sweet tribute to your Dad. Wishing your a very Merry Christmas.

Joanie said...

What a wonderful memory you have of your Dad. I haven't gotten through Silent Night in years. We go to candlelight service, they turn out the lights and we sing Silent Night without any musical accompaniment. Something about the words "sleep in Heavenly peace" gets me every time. Ithink of my parents and how I miss them. God bless you and Merry Christmas, Kim.

Erin in MI said...

I'm so sorry Kim. We lost my dad 3 years ago, and Christmas is one of the harder times to get through. Dad loved singing White Christmas - and he did a great job at it, too. I always remember my dad when I hear that song. I hope you have a Merry Christmas - and our dads are there with us...

Denise said...

Well, you left me in tears too. What wonderful memories of your Dad. Sounds like he was a great guy - had to be - he sang carols all year long!

Merry Christmas -
Denise

Kathie said...

oh what a wonderful story/memory you have...
yes it brought tears to my eyes too
and now everytime i hear Silent Night I am going to think of you and this story
Merry Christmas!
Kathie

Chocolates4Breakfast (TerriBoog) said...

I know how lucky I am to still have both my parents with me (and coming to visit for Christmas). I know you must miss your dad. Lovely post, Kim.

Merry Christmas

Margaret said...

Oh Kim. Now you've got me crying. Silent Night will always bring your dad to mind from this time on for me. Hugs. (btw, both my son and my husband sing Christmas carols all year round.)

Deb said...

Such a beautiful memory Kim. I lost my dad too so I know how it is around the holidays. But go ahead and shed that tear - it is for him after all.

Charlene ♥ SC said...

I didn't have to hear the song to shed the tears... the memory got me. Big hugs of love, Kim.

Laurie in Iowa said...

(((Kim))) what a lovely tribute to your Dad. I miss my Dad too and the holidays are bittersweet when we remember the 'good times'.

Cari said...

Oh my gosh Kim...what a wonderful memory. I'll listen to your Silent Night another time...I'm sure I'd tear up too!! HUGS

Catherine said...

Your Dad must have been an amazing man! Thank you for sharing your memories of him. Silent Night always gets me - it reminds me of my Poppop...I miss him dearly, but will always remember singing this song with him.

Catherine said...

Your Dad must have been an amazing man! Thank you for sharing your memories of him. Silent Night always gets me - it reminds me of my Poppop...I miss him dearly, but will always remember singing this song with him.

Alice ~ Folk Art Primitives said...

What a sweet memory!

Dianne said...

So needed to read this today. I lost my grandmother last monday, and her funeral was on friday (the day that you wrote this post). She too LOVED Christmas carols...and we did sing them at her funeral! Silent Night is now on my teary song/funeral song list...but oh such great memories.

Passionately His said...

I searched 'I miss my dad this Christmas' randomly from google search. Your blog pop up. I read and enjoyed thoroughly. I share your feelings as I too lost my dad in 2008.