Sunday, July 27, 2008

Fear is Temporary...

Regret is Forever.

WOW! What a statement! Fear is Temporary - Regret is Forever.

Surely a powerful statement! Especially on a Sunday night...the verge of another work week. I never look forward to Mondays and that's a very sad thing to say!

All weekend my sleep has been restless.....constant thoughts running thru my head of work stuff.....UGH!!!! I HATE that! It's infiltrating every crevice!

Yes..I was in San Antonio for a work-related class....a CIC Institute...and I believe that I have successfully achieved this professional designation..and of that, I am proud. So why, then, do I find this JOB I am in so unfulfilling? So......stifling!

I honestly don't mind what I do. I'm good at it, and I enjoy it, for the most part. It's all the rigidity....the internal power struggles and office politics that go on. It seems like such a waste of time and energy!

Maybe I'm at that age....but no...I think I'm just at that 'questioning' stage...and it has a lot to do with losing my dad a year or so truly makes you realize how short life is....and....well....shouldn't I be doing something that makes me happy? Or at least be happy with what I'm doing? They are not one and the same....but still.

I often think if I could use my professional knowledge (limited, but hey...there must be something there! LOL)....if I could use it in a more independent way....a less restrictive way...more of a part-time way.....and yet still have time for creative chase the dream of living a creative life and still make ends meet....I'm like the little engine that could....I think I can..I think I can....there MUST be a way...there IS a way....but then the "F" word enters the picture and I am paralyzed. Fear.

Fear is Temporary - Regret is Forever

I don't want to live (or die) with regret. This I know!


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