I had thought about this moment for quite a long time......excited but yet wondering if I really wanted to take this step....knowing I really did, but still a little scared.
Was it going to hurt? I heard that it does...and, well, I've never done this sort of thing before. Having always been a 'good girl', this just kind of went against that whole persona, and so I was nervous. Was he going to be able to tell I was nervous? Would he be annoyed at my pensiveness? Would I cry?
The 'he' in this life-story insight is Randy. Very nice guy, soft spoken, quiet, not what you would expect by looking at him. Super nice but by appearances, not necessarily a guy my parents would have approved of. But I didn't let that stop me. I was, after all, able to make my own decisions, and I had decided that Randy was going to be the one.
Still...even though Randy was very nice and seemed like an understanding kinda guy, I was still nervous. I mean, after all, once you take this step, there's no going back. You are changed....forever. You only have a 'first time' once. And I wanted this to be perfect. After much thought, I was sure I wanted Randy to be "the one".
The stage was set....and I was excited AND scared at the same time. I asked him if it would hurt......he concurred, in his quiet and calming voice, that it might. I was ready....let's DO IT!
I was so scared and nervous....and when we started, there were so many thoughts racing through my mind....was he the right one.....will I regret this in the morning....is it happening right now? I don't feel much pain? Is this how it is? This isn't so bad!
I survived...and felt like a changed woman! Completely liberated! And I knew, from that moment on...I would never be the same. It was EXHILIRATING! And when I shared with my mom what I had done, she was horrified. But I didn't care. It was worth it to me! And I would never be the same!
Please meet Randy....he was so gentle!
What did you THINK I was blogging about? LOL If you're ever in Fort Worth, TX....look him up. Randy Adams Tattoo Studio. I'm just sure he wouldn't mind being YOUR first either! ;o) Randy Adams.....you WANT him to be your first! Trust me on that!