Saturday, February 17, 2007

Such is life......but it still sucks!

*sigh* Bad news has encompassed the household....those of you that know me know that, #1 - I am a Daddy's Girl...and #2 - over the last 4 or 5 years, my dad has been diagnosed with bladder cancer, had that removed and had a permanent floatation device installed, as he refers to it (yep...I get my warped sense of humor from him!). Then all was well....until he was diagnosed 3 years ago with esophageal cancer at the age of 59. He went thru a horrendous surgical procedure, wherein they removed the lower half of his esophageus and the top 1/3 of this stomach in order to remove the cancer. He's endured radiation and chemo and has been getting good clean bills of health at his 6 month checkups. Until last week....3 years later.....BAM...slap me upside the head....they tell my dad, who lives 1000 away from me by the way, they tell him that he has cancer in his brain. They tell him he's not going to die from it but they need to get it out. So he's a week into heavy heavy radiation treatments to rid his brain of this cancer. His 62 year old brain. So a week into the treatments, they call him back in to give him the news of his other regular tests.....BAM BAM...slap me HARD upside the head.....cancer is back...in his adrenal glands, his lymph nodes and along his spine, in ADDIITON to the brain. *SIGH* I've cried every single tear that is in my body and my face is finally getting back to a somewhat normal state...the swollen eyes are subsiding. He has a consult with his docs on March 1, where they will give him their synopsis of his condition and what options he has and their suggestions and then they will leave it up to dad. Knowing dad, I don't think he will volunteer to undergo any more chemo...it just wore him out....and he doesn't want to live that way. So...now here I sit...1,000 miles away from my dad.....waiting...waiting for the phone call on March 1 to tell me his prognosis and his decision on treatments and basically how much time I have with my dad. At that point, I'll make plans accordingly as far as traveling back and forth between South Dakota and Ohio...a scenic 15 hour drive...and I believe I will get very familiar with the route.

How do you spend enough time with your dad when you live so far away? Truly...it hurts my heart to think about it. *sigh* But I pray and I realize that God truly does have a plan and I pray for strength to get through this part of "life". It still sucks though.

If anyone...anyone...has been through anything like this, I welcome...actually I PLEAD for your words of wisdom to get through this.

God bless.

2 comments:

Katrina said...

I am so sorry about your dad, cancer is such an unpredictable and horrible disease. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Jeanne said...

I'm sorry to read this very sad news about your dad Kim. He is too young for so many problems. I will be keeping good thoughts going for all of you. I lost my father 4 months ago, but he was 83 and his health had been declining the past year and he was at the point where it was time. Even so, there is a lot of anguish, guilt at being so far away (2000 miles for me) and disbelief at what is happening. Sometimes I have trouble feeling that he really is gone. {{hugs}} and stay strong.